So … I blew it this year. I have a son with special needs, and I did not take note of either World Down Syndrome Day (21 Mar 2016) or World Autism Awareness Day (2 April 2016).
On the one hand, I could say that every day is autism awareness day for our family. But, that is an excuse for me to not notice, and it disrespects the strides that our son has made in his almost 19 years of life.
When he was born 7 weeks premature, and had to stay in the hospital NICU for 4 days because of jaundice we were concerned but not overly worried.
We knew something was wrong … well my wife knew something was wrong … when at 18 months his speech stopped. We’d literally yell his name and he would not respond. We think he literally did not understand his own name – at 2 years of age. We honestly believe it is related to vaccinations – though at the time, we did not understand the risks associated with vaccination.
By age four, he was on anti-seizure medication (Depakote), and after a sleep study doctors were telling us that he had acquired epileptic aphasia, and he had behaviors very similar to severely autistic children. Mostly around issues of transition and change, he was struggling to cope and understand his world.
He fell into a category of rare child hood disorders, so rare in fact that there is not much known at all about Landau-Kleffner Syndrome. While it put him in the “autistic spectrum,” doctors could not tell us much about what to expect.
Doctors told us that:
- He was having seizures in the part of his brain that control language function.
- Language and communication would always be a struggle.
- Strength and coordination would always be a struggle.
- He would probably never ride a bike.
As we struggled to understand what it all meant, my wife especially was determined to give him every opportunity for success. We determined to not handicap him with a label given by doctors for something they barely understood.
We entered him into an autistic pre-school.
Within 18 months, we could understand things he would say, and he was able to communicate what he needed. He learned coping and communication skills. Within 2 years, he was mainstreamed into regular classrooms.
By the time he was 12, he was riding a bike. Later than some … but they said he never would ride a bike, ever.
He started drawing around 8 or 10. I cannot believe what he draws now. I struggle with stick figures, he is truly artistic.
(⇑ He drew this in March 2016) … My wife started a Facebook page to draw attention to art & autism (https://www.facebook.com/artbyautism/). You can see some more of his art there …
Can you believe that he got a 100 on his chemistry test last week, and another 100 on his English test. When he was a freshman in high school, he had the highest average in his algebra class.
My son is overcoming challenges, some of which he doesn’t necessarily understand or articulate because we don’t talk to him or treat him like he’s autistic. He’s our son. He’s my boy. We are so proud of everything he has accomplished, in spite of the challenges that he faces.
He struggles A LOT socially. Kids take advantage of him, and make fun of him, and it is not always clear to him what is happening. He’s very trusting and wants to be liked. But that does not always go well. He struggles with learning how to adequately advocate for himself in those social situations. He craves connection, meaning and significance – but he struggles to get that with his peers who are not always kind and patient with his challenges.
He will say things that do not necessarily make sense, because he does not always get the words out to explain his thinking. But he tries … very hard.
And you know what … he has a job working at a grocery store now … He is so excited to be making his own money, and proud of the fact that he is a “Courtesy Clerk.” He tells me that he wants to learn other positions in the store so he can make more money.
We have coached him on how to approach his managers about difficult self-managing conflict, and how to talk about his schedule. We are incredibly proud of the strides he is making.
When he was 5, I worried that he would be able to do anything to care for himself.
I do not understand how he thinks … the way he processes things is not the way most people do because of his challenges. But, he does manage to think. He functions, and more than that he is striving to thrive.
His dream is to be either a LEGO designer, or do something with his graphic arts. Video games? Comic books? We are encouraging him to explore his art, and to chase his dreams.
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So let me ask you …
What’s your problem? What’s your business challenge? What are you struggling with?
If the scariest thing you have to do today is talk to a prospect, or pick up the phone and make a cold call … that really does not compare to the challenges someone with disabilities faces every time they walk out the front door … does it?
Do your bills need to get paid?
Do you need more sales?
Do you need to hire more salespeople?
When I pick up the phone, and I am not “feeling it” all I have to do is think about my son Zachary. What is the fleeting pain of a “no” in comparison to the self-esteem, and self-value struggles of someone trying to fit into a world that doesn’t seem to understand him (at least not a lot of the time)?
Struggles in life vs. Struggles in one’s business life …
What is the challenge of connecting with a prospect in comparison with the challenges of not being able to connect socially in one’s sphere of influence?
My niche specialization is the development of high performance sales teams, and it rests on my ability to aid others in connecting as a team. When I think of the challenges that Zachary faces, I feel ill-equipped to deal with his struggles.
To be honest, it is easier to work with a business owner, or professional, that wants to grow their network than it is for me to face the challenges my son deals with every day.
How do I mentor my son, when his largest challenge is my premier specialty? At times, I feel like a fraud and a failure because it can be such a challenge to really connect with him, but then to actually help him as well. It pushes me to do more and to be more.
But, I still struggle with how to help my son to achieve his dreams, when communicating well is still his biggest challenge, and it comes so much easier to me.
If my special needs son, can overcome so much and be so much more than any doctor thought he could be when he was 4 and 5 … how much more can you or I be?
What self-limiting beliefs do you hold that you either fraudulently placed on yourself or allowed someone else’s limited perspective to place on you?
What labels on you personally, or professionally, have you accepted because someone else told you that it was “the truth” and you needed to “get it”?
Let’s take the limits off. As Les Brown (or Norman Vincent Peale) would say, “Shoot for the moon, if you miss you’ll land among the stars.”
What’s your business challenge? How can we help?